"The Little Devil"

Star, my lola's pug, is the most naughtiest dog we've ever had. He's been our dog for a year now. And he has not changed a bit. He's still the dog who will never give up to get one's slippers and will eat anything that he can sense delicious. He always bites the hem of my tita's daster and the maong pants of manong Johnny. He tears anything, even the poison box for the cockroaches. Eww. He can even pull a six-foot Christmas tree down. In short, he's branded as "The Little Devil".

And I for one can say that in some ways, I've been naughty and bad as a pug. So, when the next year comes, maybe I would change and stop being a "little devil".

Nights Without Forty Winks part 2

I did not have any dream that night. It was just blank. All I could see was an inky blackness. But I could sleep peacefully. Then, I felt myself standing up. I knew I was sleeping and walking at the same time. Join the two words, I was sleepwalking that time. But I could not do anything. I could not wake myself up. It's as if I was controlled. Then, I remembered myself picking up my jewelry boxes and going to the bathroom. I showered myself with water, regardless of the fact that I was still robed, from head to toe in my pyjamas. I had put shampoo on my head and did not care to rinse it off. I just went back to my room, together with my jewelry boxes. I slept again with my hair in shampoo and beside me were the jewelry boxes. The next morning, I was not surprised with my hair dried in shampoo and the jewelry boxes opened. The shower too was left opened.

Gosh, I had no idea why I did those things. This was the second time I had sleepwalked.

Top 10 things of Vacays

10. School is out!

9. There are no homeworks that make you tired.

8. There are no tests that make you cry.

7. You don't have to wake up early.

6. You don't have to run and scream for things.

5. You can eat all day long.

4. There are lots of food in the refrigerator.

3. You don't have to worry about a lot of things.

2. Great to bond with the family!

But the Top 1 on my list is:

1.You can certainly be relaxed.

Nothing's Changed

From the vast and lush fields of Iloilo to the gray Manila city, I was dumbfounded. Relieved. Stressed. Nothing's Changed. From the tall trees to the tall buildings and skyscrapers, from the clean air to the not-so-clean air, from the not-so-many cars to the thousands of honking cars, from the clean streets to the dirty streets, I was, well, I can't believe it. I am here! Yeah, back from the city where I was born. From the city where I've lived all my life. After seven months of staying in Iloilo, I can't help to kiss all of our things here in Manila. So good to be back. I've really missed Manila very much. Anyway, it's still the same, old Manila, I have cherished and love. Tomorrow, I will be visiting the places I've never visited in the past seven months.

Noooo!

...the kind of look I have had the past two months...

Too Good To Be True

You know what? Today, I realized something. That something is the best thing I've ever felt. It's called, Freedom. What a wonderful word that is! Seeing that word, makes me relax and carefree. Lack of restrictions and just being me, these are what I want. Happy I am, for I achieved such things. I feel so happy. I am so glad that the frenzied months are over. All the late-night studying, the overtime practices, the everything tiring is done. I'm not a caged bird anymore. As if, I was a bird. Anyway, I can sleep for a hundred years if I want to. I can eat 999, 999 bars of chocolate for a day. I can watch movies and just well do anything I liked. Scream, jump, dance, sing, evrything good and nice. Whew! What a relief! This is what I've been asking for. To be free.

Yup. It is too good to be true.

These are what I realized....

I cannot accept defeat. Mind you, that was at first. I have to admit I felt it was more like the end of the world. It was the end of the universe. Yes, we did not win. And it hurts so bad that sometimes I thought my heart would break. Ha! I just realized I am with manic-depression. Anyway, what’s done is done. We put our best foot forward but it was not enough. Now, as I reminisce the events that happened these past months, I can’t help but feel glad. Much more than glad. Happy. Happier that I’ve ever felt before. I felt so much better, that everything is so over. The play festivals passed like a blur. But it left a mark on me. It made me realize many things. It made me see the possibilities in the impossibilities. It made me have a positive outlook in life. It made me appreciate the talents that I have and to marvel at the talents of others. Time, is in fact, precious, and should not be wasted. All my life, I felt that I have a lot of time before me. Until now, that is how I feel. Often, I would just procrastinate. I would not mind that the clock ticks by and by. But bit by bit, the play festival taught me that life is too short. One time I was just doing the script together with my friends. The next moment I was on stage, portraying my role. It was all so surreal.

The play festival made me understand my classmates. In fact, they became my inspiration. I still remembered that first day of school. The day that I branded as the “Saddest Day of the year” separated me from my closest friends. I was made to sit on a chair inside a classroom I am not familiar of and classmates that I considered as, “Strangers”. I was wrong with judging them, thinking that our play would not be successful. Ever. Talk about a Hasty Generalization. Now, it made me realize that my classmates are stars that shine brightly in the night sky. They are all so special and important. Unique. Incomparable. Simply Extraordinary. I also understood our adviser. I misjudged her too, actually. She kept us all together. She was there for us in good times or in bad. Yes, at times, I would despise her and hate her. But, the things she had done were all for us, her class. Most of all, the play festival taught me not to give up. To hold on. To persevere with what we are doing. When I was on the verge of quitting, someone pulled me up and said, “Don’t quit. I am here to help you. We will finish this together as father and daughter.” And yes, he was always right. With the help of the people around me and with God’s help, I finished what I started.

RECAP. part 4

One week has passed since our triumphant TDR. This is it. This is the day. No turning back. Just keep moving forward. Waking up early that day was not a grievance to me. At five in the morning, I thought I was late already. I felt so eager that day. Yet too much excitement did not hinder nervousness. It ate me up. When I reached school at past six, my classmates were wearing their costumes and make-up already. Ms. Layson was already there too. Wow, they really are excited. I kept looking at our class clock, counting the time left. Two hours and a half to go. I tried to uplift my spirits and calm myself with encouraging words, but when I looked at my classmates, they were all agitated. Probably, the level of tension and stress was to the max.

Okay, Stage Fright visited me while I was on stage. Of course it did. I suddenly wished that I was at home just watching T.V. I felt my cheeks burning red. Head throbbing, I felt my stomach, swarming with different insects. I felt nauseated. The spotlight burned my eyes. I was panicking. I was having a hard time. A very hard time. But I did not dare show it to the audience or else our play will flunked. I just kept that all inside. Outside, I showed a person with confidence. But, inside, I was shaking like a leaf. Talk about being afraid by ghosts. My classmates were like that too. We were all like that until the end of our play. Everything was going smoothly as it was planned. Our actors were very good with their voice projection and with their acting. Our technical effects were going well when suddenly, the technical people became confused because there was a change in technical script. The curtains were opened, and closed repeatedly. Then, we blamed each other. Got angry with one another. Some were crying. We told ourselves that we can’t do this anymore. But some were hopeful. And “some” would be Ms. Layson only. She kept telling us to keep moving forward and not stick with the past. The backstage was noisy. I peeked outside the curtains and saw that some were dozing to sleep. They were bored. I would not let them feel this way. My classmates would not too. So, hand in hand, we worked the other scenes that were left and we did our best not to repeat the same mistakes again. When the last scene ended, we were all in the center stage, bowing to the audience, happily. However, in the inside, we feared the outcome. But it was all done. What a relief!

RECAP. part 3

The TDR

It has come. The day I was dreading too much. First, I was glad that we did not have regular classes that day. The whole morning was just used for preparation. The afternoon was our TDR. I still remember, my classmates’ faces looking anxious and excited at the same time. Even in my dreams, I kept repeating my lines over and over again. To be brutally honest, I haven’t finished memorizing yet. The pressure is eating me! I kept thinking of positive things that might happen to our TDR, but the negative ones, just kept on popping into my head. What if the judge would hate us? What if I forget my lines? What if all goes wrong? See? I am so pessimistic. At one in the afternoon. We were all dressed up already. My body temperature is decreasing. My feet felt numb on my gladiator shoes. Fast forward to three in the afternoon. The other section was done. It was our turn.

The introduction was starting. My body temperature decreased to zero degrees. I could feel my face going whiter and whiter. While I was acting, I kept telling myself, “Don’t you dare forget your lines!” After my part, I was so relieved that I did not trip on the words. My classmates were whispering loudly to each other on what to do next. But wait. It was more than that. They were shouting. I can’t help doing the same. I hoped it couldn’t be heard outside. Some of our props bumped on each other and it made a loud noise. The curtains were not that smooth and the lights as well. When we reached scene three, I forgot my lines, but luckily, Alice, who was playing Esther, kind of memorized some of my parts and so she whispered them to me. In the middle of our TDR, we were all losing hope. My classmates said that our grade would surely be an NI. Some said, “No, it would be worse than that. U.” I couldn’t agree more. I just patted their backs, and tried to tell them that everything would be fine, when everything seems so wrong. In the end, we were called for company call. I just wished that I could cover my ears. I can’t bear to hear our score. The critique, Mrs. Catalina Salgado, told us that our play was beautiful. We were like, “What?!” She said that our actors were excellent. She told me that I have a good diction. I have voice projection. Moreover, between the pauses of her compliments, I was like, “What?! Are those true?” In the end, she told us our grade and it was a VS! As if, there was no tomorrow, we jumped for joy. Shocking it was. Those two letters just made our day complete.

RECAP. part 2

The Rehearsals

One month to go before play day.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. As the clock bonged to midnight, ‘unbelievable’ was the only word I can think of. And maybe the only one I can utter for the meantime. I can’t sleep that night. I was just replaying the motions of classes and particularly play practices in my mind. Our life is now abnormal. With that I meant, going home past four thirty in the afternoon. With that too, I meant sleeping past midnight. Ha! A change in lifestyle. Anyway, I was surprised that before we started the real rehearsals, we had some theater exercises. It was fun doing some. It ended early because we were losing time. We still need to practice twenty-two scenes! For one month! Seriously?


We’ve practiced the first scene for the umpteenth time while we haven’t practiced the rest. Our props were almost finished. Our technical script is still “under construction”. In any case, squabbles and arguments still happened. Of course, it did. Misunderstanding made our bond as a class stronger, but it also made us waste time. I felt that we hated one another. That’s why, we can’t move on with what we were doing. We were holding grudges in our hearts. And some were holding “huffs”. So, I was wondering all the time, “What will happen to our play? Most likely, to our class? Will we stay as one, until the end of the year? They just consumed it all. Our work became slower and slower. It also became tedious. But with heart-to-heart talks, it became faster. In the case of the rehearsals, tiring is one of the best words to describe it. My normally black-brown eyes lost the glow in them. They’re just blank. During classes, I can’t hear teachers lecturing. Instead I was dreaming. Every Saturday we went to school to rehearse. At first, we were really into practicing seriously, as in not wasting time, but later, I can’t help but join childhood games with the rest of the class. It took my breath away. The clock was ticking. Yes, we were losing time. But to me and to them, why not have some break? Some fun?

RECAP. part 1

These are what I experienced in our Playfest 2010...
Let's start from the very beginning, a very good place to start....

The Preparations

I cannot take it anymore. It is killing me. Seriously. The excitement was surging within me. My heart with its rhythmic rising and falling was beating hard. It was so loud that a while ago; I looked outside our classroom, wondering, who is playing the drum. Sweat was forming on my forehead. My back was aching. My hands were freezing cold. I wanted to run, to scream. To let out the tremendous excitement I was feeling. This cannot be replaced. The most anticipated event of the year was here. Finally. I don’t know why I was so eager with starting the play festivals. It’s imprinted in me, I guess. Without hesitating, my friends and I started to look for a play. An Asian play, that is. I have to admit, it was hard. I’ve read at least five plays and none was pleasing to my satisfaction. I’ve pondered on reading Philippine plays, but I knew that my classmates would like something different. I, too, would like that. We have researched for plays again but it ended with nothing. Before I considered giving up, one of my friends came up with a brilliant idea. She told us that one of our choices could be, Anastasia! Yes, Anastasia! Why not? That would be so COOL. When she gave that idea, I was immediately stuck with it. I am sure that my classmates would agree. And I can’t help but think of it, day and night.


Disappointed was I. Not only that, but I was also thwarted by fate. It was hard to believe it. We haven’t told the class yet of our play choices when the other section already got the play, Anastasia! I have to admit, I was really torn to pieces. I was angry. But I can’t do anything but to accept it. It was already done. Anyway, we presented our play choices to our classmates, but we did not choose yet. The entire CAE period, I kept thinking of Anastasia. Why was it chosen by the other section? Why, why, why? I was so depressed that I did not hear Mr. Guintivano, talking. I just stared at him blankly. Fortunately, my seatmate nudged me in the ribs. Then, I realized, he was presenting the biblical story, Esther. And it just hit me like volleyball in P.E. class. This is it. This could be it. Of all the books, I’ve read (containing plays), of all the surfing in the net, our chosen play was just in the Bible, waiting to be discovered. God is really good.


The Auditions

The script was done. It’s time for the auditions. As the play day was fast approaching, we were hand in hand with our props. The auditions took place at the St. Anne’s Hall. There were at least eighteen characters or more in our play. The only role I auditioned was Esther’s uncle, Mordecai. A role that I liked and I believed I could portray well. It is not hard for me too deepen my voice like a man. Like an old man. When I auditioned, I took at least a thousand breaths and exhaled them all. My knuckles went white as I held onto my skirt. My throat was dry. I stammered with the words for I was nervous, but of course, I got the part. Well, because, it was only I, who auditioned for the role. Anyway, I felt glad that I auditioned not because someone forced me to do so. I don’t want people treating me like a robot. I’m certainly not like one. Plus, they’re not my remote control. Because if they were, they will only be frustrated with me. It’s not my fault anyway. They used me. I’m just sorry if I can’t please everybody. Nevertheless, as I observed my classmates auditioning for the roles, I realized that our class was jam-packed with splendid artists. This would go on great, I guess.

Same old, same old...

Deadline. The word itself makes me feel dead. It's as if Death is swallowing me whole. I remembered one of my teachers in my elementary school say, "I don't want to give a deadline for this project because the word itself is not nice." Well, I couldn't agree more. She was right. But look at me today, I am not organized. I am always panicking, cramming, and screaming and just, well running fast to keep up with things. Ha! Great teacher she was. Anyway, the feeling is really lovely when every time teachers would give the project months before the deadline. Well, because of I could make my project worthy for a high score. In truth, it's because I could have a lot of time, procrastinating. But now, if only you could see me! Nothing has change in me, physically, except for the fact that my normally black-brown eyes have no glow in them anymore. Well for my mentality? Nothing too, I guess because I am still me. The girl panicking, cramming, and screaming and just, well running fast to keep up with things.

Surreal.

I've just read some blogposts, and mostly, they were all about the play festival. They were all about how the playfest was finally over. How the pressure, the anxiety, and all the stress was gone. I still cannot believe it, until now. Maybe I will never believe it. It was all so surreal. Was it only yesterday when we chose our play? Was it only yesterday when we auditioned for the roles? When I was shocked that I will be playing the role of Florante, and relieved when I was playing the role of Mordecai? When we had arguments and disagreements in the classroom?When I was complaining about how tired I was with our play practices? When we were doing the props? The script? Everything that has to do with the plays? Was it only yesterday? Was it?

And now that I think of it, time really flies fast. Sometimes, all I wonder was all about how everything I do seems like a blur. Well, it is a blur actually. A while ago, we were just attending Mass, then the next thing I knew, I was eating dinner. Frequently, I feel that I have much time. A lot of time.

Anyway, I am filled with mixed emotions. I feel happy that the burden was over. Finally. I feel sad and I miss our play practices already. But the dominant emotion inside of me now, is nervousness. Uneasiness is bugging me and it's really exasperating. Regular classes makes the big knot in my stomach much larger than a basketball.

DREAMS

Thanks for the advice, photobucket.... :))

FREE.

Am I like her? Free of anything? Not afraid to express my feelings, my worries, my emotions, my dreams? Not hesitating to get out of my shell? Am I like her, serene and undisturbed? Maybe, in some ways, yes. But, I hope I'll be completely free.

Here's the thing.

The thing is, I think I might die from thinking too much of how our CAF play will be tomorrow. Seriously. I think I might die from thinking of negative things. Okay, so I am really trying to nourish my mind with positive things, but the negative ones just keep popping into my head. The feeling is really different. My heart beats so fast as I type, that a while ago, I looked outside, wondering who's playing the drum. My stomach keeps on churning and churning and churning. My throat is sore from practicing. I am really washed-out.

It's 1:30 in my clock now. I'm sweating so hard, even if I only took a bath minutes ago. So, here's the thing, I might die of too much worrying. Well, okay, not really die, but maybe, passed out. I know, I know, I am overreacting and paranoid of things, but you don't know what the feeling is like.

Babbling Nonsense...

TDRs are done. But the torture is not done. Yet. The two days are fast approaching. The days I'm dreading too much. It feels like yesterday was only our first play. It feels like yesterday was when anxiety, fear, concern and worry overwhelmed me too much. But then again, it would be gone, right? It would go away.

Right now, I feel like having a one-year vacation. Make that two. These past months just made me restless and weak. I guess everyone was too. Now, instead of procrastinating, I need to practice my lines and particularly my acting parts.

So help me God. :))

Nights Without Forty Winks.

I was having a very nice dream when a black figure woke me. It was my sister. Her face was lighted by the pale moonlight. She looked ghastly.

"What is it, now?" I asked angrily.

"Come with me." She whispered and went out of the door. I did not move because this is some sort of a prank she's playing on me. Again. She just ruined the perfect dream I was having. Usually, when she wakes me up in the middle of the night, she just asks me to accompany her to the bathroom. Gosh, like someone would eat her there. I went inside of the covers and did not mind her again. But just I was retrieving the dream in my mind, I heard a whisper again.

"Come with me." This time it was faint.

"Oh, c'mon! Somebody wants to sleep peacefully! It's still dark. So, just shut up and go back to bed. And that's an order." Whew. I hope I sounded like mama.

"Come with me."

I put my hands to my ears and hummed a tune. But, it was no use, because the three words were playing in my head. "Okay, okay, okay, I'll come! But, where?" I looked at her and her face really shone in the moonlight. She looked different. Too different. It's as if, she went to a parlor or something. Maybe more than that. To a dermatologist's clinic, perhaps? She looked beautiful.

"Are you on a date? What are you wearing?" I asked as I looked at her from head to toe. She wore a mini white dress. A crown of leaves was on top of her head. Glass slippers were on her feet.

"Come with me." She said it again. Okay. Are these the only words she can utter? Normally, she's like a parrot. Well, a parrot actually. Anyway, to end this early, I decided to follow her. "Have you done something wrong?" I asked. But she only shook her head. She opened the door and it revealed not the hallway, but...mountains, fields...and waterfalls. They were...awesome! Where the heck am I?

"Where the heck are we, Christine?" I asked her, but she only smiled at me, revealing pearly white teeth. Everything around us felt like magic. She, then led me to a cliff. For a long moment, we were just there.

"Okay, is something suppose to be happening here?" She answered me with just a smile again and then, she just jumped off the cliff with a splash! But, don't worry, she's still alive. In the water were my father, mother and sisters. They were all happy and together they looked at me.

"Jump, Celine! Jump!" Pauline shouted as the sky turned really blue.

"But, I'm afraid. What if I break a neck? A leg? A hand? A nose? Or what if I bump my head on a stone? On a very large stone?"

"Come now, darling. Why be afraid? None of those terrible things will happen to you! I promise." My mama said. "Yes, we promise. Come down now." My father joined in.

"But, what will happen if I do not jump?"

"Come now. You don't wanna miss the fun, do you?" Regine quipped as the sky turned to bloody red. "Jump...NOW! Jump now...!"

Someone was pushing me really hard, but I tried not to give in. I looked at my back and saw that the beautiful sceneries changed into horrifying ones. I was scared and frightened. Every thing beautiful turned chaotic. My family were wailing like banshees. I was just so afraid that I thought it was the end of me. But then, before anything else, my father, looking like he just woke up, was in front of me, saying, "Celine. Celine. Wake up!"

Yes. I was dreaming. My arms were in front of me. I was standing and behind my father was a flight of stairs. Sleepwalking was what I was doing the whole night. This was the first.

Let's get this over with

It's 8: 30 in the evening. One night to go before tomorrow. A few hours before the moment I am dreading too much. I can't think of anything worthy to post now. I'm just really nervous for tomorrow. As in, jumpy and panicky and tense and all of the words you can relate with the word nervous. I can already feel a large knot forming inside me. I am sick. So sick.

What if I forget my lines? What if I forget what to do next? What if the judge would hate us, especially me? What if everything goes wrong tomorrow? Oh, this is making me feel much worse. I'm attracting negative energies. Okay, okay. No need to be so paranoid. I am now thinking of good and positive things. Everything would go right. Everything would go according to plan. Besides, we've practiced many times already, so, why in the world, would I worry?

Of course, I have to worry! This thing has been killing me for the past months. It made me exhausted and everything. So, if everything would go wrong, I would be really sad. And don't forget angry.

I can't turn away from this. Not anymore. So, let's get this over with. I know that I'm just wasting time attracting negative energies when I'm supposed to be practicing! Tomorrow, I will do my best and nothing more.

So help me God.

On. Off. On. Off.

If you can just see me now, you might think I'm some crazy person on the street. I have dark shadows under my eyes. My hair's messy. My face is pale. I'm just dog-tired that's what it is. But, seeing Brad Pitt, everything is different. There's no denying it, Brad Pitt is heaven. I just feel so happy and at peace. With one look in his eyes, the world is changed. And then look at his...

Great. Just great. So, here's the thing. I was just watching, Troy, (Brad Pitt!!) when all of a sudden, everything just went dark. Why did it happen? Well, it's because of the stupid blackout. Aaarrggh!!! My blood's boiling hot. I just want to scream! At a perfect time like this, at a time wherein I'm in heaven, this is the time that PECO has stolen from me!

I stand up and tumble over things in our house. I am scratched and hurt. Anyway, I don't care. I just need to get the flashlight. My only heaven. For now. What do I do without light?

I decide to do my homework. But because of procrastinating, I sleep instead. After half an hour, I wake up and behold, there was...light. "May ilaw na! May ilaw na!" I heard my sisters say. Without a moment's hesitation, I grab the remote control and push the ON button. But, I am not lucky. The lights turn off again! Waaahh!

I want to fall into a dreamless sleep

Here I am once again feeling nothing but tired. It feels again that I am participating in a triathlon. I eat so fast, I sleep so short, it seems that everything I do is a blur. My head's aching, my eyes are closing, my hands are beginning to get numb, my everything just wants to fall into a dreamless sleep.

Well, why not? Of course, the burden is enough, right? I need some rest. Or I could die from tiring myself. They say that when you have a dreamless sleep, your mind does not think of problems (especially Math), and you are just so happy and emotionally healthy. In other words, you are at peace. But the thing is, my mind does the opposite. I hope Cinderella does not really mean that, "Dreams do come true." Because, if she really does then, I'd rather die than face my weird nightmares of terrifying monsters.

Well, good thing that tonight I have something in mind to post, though I'm sleeping already. Perhaps, this is a dream. Anyway, tomorrow is a new day again. A new day that would be filled with lessons, tests, and practices. A new day with joys and sorrows. A new day to be thankful. A new day to complain and complain all over again. Last description? A new day wherein I'll say, (out loud) "I am tired!"

The No. 41

I am old. Not really old, but older than last year. What can I expect? As I press the letters on the keyboard, I know that I am getting older. Each blink of an eye, I get older and older. It's not that I'm afraid to get old. In fact, I am happy. Happy to be alive still. Happy to be typing now, and saying that I am old.

I woke up, feeling the excitement, surging inside me. I took a glance at the clock and saw that it was exactly 8:06 in the morning. This was the time when I was born, fourteen years ago.

Well, some birthday did I have. I celebrated it with my closest friends. After we ate lunch, we went to the mall and did some window-shopping. We also watched, The White House, starred by Gaby Concepcion. It was a great movie.

Anyway, this day has been GREAT. No wonder, the Lord has been good to me. Always.

Some would say that I've grown taller. Some would say I haven't changed, while some say I have. Aurora says that I should have a brand new life. Well, I guess I should. I am old, anyway.

No turning back...

Why is it like that when I promised to say 'NO', it ended with a 'YES'? Why is it that I don't stick with promises to myself? Oh, I definitely told myself last year, that I would never do such a thing again. But, why does it keep happening? Why? Why? Why? Could it be....destiny? No. It could not be. It could never be.

So, now, I'm stuck with it. For the meantime again. It's my fault anyway. So, I have to deal with it. I have to face it. No turning back. Although, the feeling is entirely different now. It IS really waiting for my death.

Thank God it's Friday!

Friday. The sixth day every week makes me feel relaxed. Yes, that's the word that completely describes Friday. A hectic week was what I experienced. It was a week of shock, surprise, frustration, happiness, and sorrow.

Friday changes my perception about life. Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays are a burden to me. Friday tells me that life is easy. No need to rush. No need to stress. All I need to do is to procrastinate. In fact, there are two days after Friday. So, I have lots of time to do my assignments.

Friday is a day of fun, of relaxation, of removing myself from stress. Friday tells me that I should not lose hope. So, what I am doing now, aside from blogging, is watching T.V., reading a book, feeding the hamsters and so far, procrastinating. Oh, I love that word.

Anyway, as my friend, Aurora said awhile ago, I just need to relax. I know, I've repeated "relax" so many times already, but repeating it, makes me smile. It's 10:43 on my clock now. I have less than 48 hours to do my assignments. That is a long time....so, why bother?

A typical Sunday

The sun crept into my eyelids and law and behold it was a new day. At first, I thought, it was a Saturday because yesterday we had our last day of exams. But today's Sunday, even if I like it or not. This means tomorrow I go to school again, right? This means I have to face my scores. Oh, I'll be crucified! The only thing that urges me to go to school tomorrow is because of what the whole high school community will be doing in the afternoon. Something exciting and valuable.

Anyway, this day is just the usual Sunday every weekend. Waking up, going to Mass, having lunch, watching T.V., blogging, reading, eating, sleeping, surfing the net, cramming for assignments. Except that there are no assignments for tomorrow. It's 3: 15 now, and I'm thinking of something worthy to post.

Since 10:30 in the morning, I've watch hundreds of movies. Well, okay, just two. Anyhow, they made my head dizzy. The first movie I watched, together with my sisters was Pride and Prejudice. Oh, I've watched this movie for the hundredth time and it wasn't boring at all. (I've read the book too by Jane Austen.) Why would I be bored when Mr. Darcy is there, looking handsome and dashing? Plus, he is such a gentleman. Would someone be bored of him? No way. If someone would, that person is just out of her mind. This movie I'd watched were starred by Keira Knightley (!), Mathhew Macfadyen, Brenda Blethyn, Donald Sutherland, and Judi Dench.

The second movie I watched was Ratatouille in Disney channel. I've watched this for a thousand times. Probably, you've watched it too, so I don't need to describe it at all.

Now, my youngest sister, Regine is listening to the main theme in The Lovely Bones movie. It is entitled Alice by Cocteau Twins. I don't know who they are but their song is good, and it's pretty creepy. She's recording it now in our camera. She's practically gaga over it.

Okay, now, I don’t know what to say next, because I’m thinking of what to do next. I’m thinking whether to start the script or to read. Either way it is.

To end, I am just glad that a hectic week is over. I know I’ve said this a thousand times, but it’s just so good to say it. Now, this week will single me out. This is the week where I’ll know the fruit of my works. This is it.

Finally!

Finally, finally, finally. It has ended. I gotta say it was a hard week for me. Well, for everyone too. Before anything else, the exams today were easy, but it was very long. My neck aches so much and my eyes weary of looking at words and numbers.

After three days of cramming, of memorizing and understanding, of making my head explode, of making me go absolutely crazy because of deadlines, I am surprised that I came out...alive.

For me, this is a big goal I've ever achieved. It's not that great, but it means something. Something so important. Something that means I'm not giving up. Something that means I'm strong. Okay, I know I'm overreacting, but it's true! Something has changed in me and that's it. Well, because for one reason, if I really feel that I can't take this or that any longer, I easily give up. I would sometimes go to a corner and cry all by myself. I just practically cry because of a little thing and so, they call me a "cry baby". But that's waaay back in time. Now, things have changed; I've also changed. I was able to face it like a woman. Finally!

The List

Fact one. Arrived at school early. Well, exactly 7:15. At least: GOOD.

Fact two. Thanks to the calculator, Statistics was easy: GOOD.

Fact three. I did not fell asleep during the tests, despite that I slept late last night: GOOD.

Fact four.Social Studies was...quite easy because this is the subject I've studied for seven hours: GOOD.

Fact five. I think I'll fail in CLE: BAD.

Fact six. But mostly, Biology! BAD. VERY BAD.

Anyway, I'm glad that the GOOD outnumbered the BAD. But somehow that made the two BADs even worse. Especially the last one.

To make the BAD three, I've not studied yet in any subject for tomorrow. What a wondeful me...

Torturous Day 1...

Whew. The first day is done. How do I feel? I feel exhausted. It's as if I joined a triathlon. I've just finished eating lunch and I feel like eating more.

The tests were really hard, especially Biology. I was not able to finish some parts of the test, so I feel like I'm waiting for my death. Oh, God, what would be my score? All I could do now is pray hard that my score would not be depressing. I really hope it would not be, because I've wasted my time last night just to understand what the book is talking about. Even if I studied it scrupulously, I felt that the words in the test paper were from a different language.

Math was no exception. When I was reviewing last night, I realized that Math was easy. It's just a game. You have to know the rules, to play it well. But, today, when I looked at the test paper, my jaw dropped. "I know...this. I know this. I know this." I said while clicking my ball pen for the umpteenth time. I was lucky, because I remembered some rules. But in the other parts, it felt like I was attacked by amnesia.

In Journalism, I was able to breathe normally. It was easy and at the same time hard. All you need to do is to analyze and to use your common sense.

Anyway, I am glad that "Day 1" is done. I hope I'll not procrastinate again. And to my classmates and schoolmates, let's brace ourselves for "Day 2".

I am me!

Black hair, black round eyes with long lashes, this girl is tall and plump. Impatient, demanding, irritable, shy, noisy, quiet, funny, serious, fierce, a worrier, loving, caring, smart, proud, sad, happy, talented, beautiful, vain, happy-go-lucky, and most of all crazy.

Once, when she was young, she embarrassed herself in a formal party, by licking the plate in front of all her relatives.
Once, she even threw up in a boat with people she didn't know.
Once, she was afraid to take a slide in the playground.
Once, she hurt herself, by hitting a pole, because she was not looking at where she was going to.
Once, she was almost hit by a car.
Once, she was afraid to speak in front of her classmates, and ended up crying.
Once, she was so proud and confident of herself, that she tripped onto a large stone.
Once, she hurt someone she loved the most.
Always, she is late.

This is me. I am who I am. Nothing and nobody can change that. I simply love myself!

Life Law Two: You create your own experience.

I create my own experience. Yes, I do. This could mean wanting particular events to happen, such as, to succeed or fail. But this could also mean creating my own experience to solve the mystery of why my role in life is what it is.

I ask myself now, how do I treat myself? Of course, I treat myself with care. I don't eat foods that are too salty, or too sweet. I don't drink soft drinks either. Well, probably sometimes, but not always. I take a bath twice everyday. Or thrice. I don't hurt myself with sharp objects. (How could I?) I brush my teeth after every meal. I take in vitamins. But I don't do exercises.

Now, how do I treat myself emotionally and spiritually? Uh-oh. Uh-oh because this is sort of hard. But, I know that I am emotionally healthy. I always laugh at crazy things and I am happy. In fact, I am crazy. If I am depressed, blame the report card. Spiritually? Well, I'll say it's almost. But, at times, I don't pray with feelings because basically I pray memorized prayers. Usually, I fell asleep during prayer time. I don't know what's the matter with me but what I know is, is that the prayers, the voices, lulls me to sleep.

Why am I blogging this? Well, of course, in creating my own experience, I need to include God. With including, I meant God should be the center of my life. No one else. I know falling asleep during prayer time is bad and disrespectful and so, I want to change it. With God, I'll be guided. Protected. Cared. Loved.

I create my own experience by making a statement to the world, through my attitude and appearance. This would be my response to the world.

Life Law One: You either get it or you don't.

Have you ever worked hard for something you really want to get? Well, if you did, I, on the other hand, did not.

When I was younger, I was constantly on the top three of our class. My goal: Top one. On the fourth quarter, we had lots of exams. Did I study? Hell, no. For I know, I will not fail. I'm smaaart. I'll just play my Barbie dolls and watch "Tom and Jerry". I believe in my own self.

I realized in the end, that I was wrong. Of course, I was. I ended up in the fourth place. That's what I get for being
L-A-Z-Y.

Lesson learned now: It depends on me, whether I want to succeed or fail. I shall not blame anyone for the things I did. Only me and only myself is the one to blame. For now, I want to discover and use the huge power to change my life. Well, not entirely my life. But only the bad, unnecessary things I've done. I should know how to play the game so that I'll not be stuck. I'll not be someone who is forced or pushed to do something. I, myself, will be the one to push myself to get what I want and need.

I want to become someone who gets it.

Help! My head's exploding right now!

Everything at school is simply stressful. What now will I do? Is procrastinating the best way to solve these? For now, I guess so. Oh God, I need a one month vacation. Except that I know it would never happen. Why? I just can't quit school. But on the other hand, I could have a lot of rest. I'll just lie on my comfy bed, dreaming. Then, I'll wake up with oh-so delicious food on the table. Next, I'll just watch and watch as many movies I like. After, I'll eat again. Sleep. Watch. Eat. Sleep. Oh, agree with me, it's right.

Except that, I would be really fat. Now, I ask myself, "Again, what shall I do?" The first answer would be, "I don't know." The second answer would be, "There's a way. Always." The third would be asking, "But, how in the world, would there be a way, if you're just sitting there and doing nothing?" The fourth would still be thinking for an answer.

Honestly, I don't know what to write next too. All I have to say is that more burdens are coming. More storms, earthquakes, and tornadoes. What then, what then will I do? Will I sing? Dance? Act? What? Or, could I make a schedule of the things I would do? But, I'm not some student who's organized and all. In fact, I am lazy. Very lazy. I just feel tired of everything. With the quizzes, the mastery tests, the lessons, I just feel that I am carrying a heavy bag of stones. I know, I know that in complaining, nothing happens. I just waste precious time. But, in complaining, I learn a lot of things. I realized that I am such a whiner. I realized that I am lazy. That I am a brat who wants things to be done for her.

Even if I feel tired of everything, I still love life. I try to make the best of it. Even if it means, making an effort. Even if it means, I am lazy to make an effort. I still try to defy my own gravity.

So, I guess I learned a lesson. As I look at my wrist watch, it is now five in the afternoon. A few hours before I am supposed to sleep. What will I do now? The fourth will answer this question. "I'll stand up and will not waste precious time. And I say NO to procrastinating!"

So help me, God.

Great, the burden has ended!

Breathe in. Breathe Out. Relax, chill! It's going to be fine. Everything's fine. All I have to do is face it like a woman. It's not that serious. Plus, I have memorized it, word for word, letter for letter. Why would I be nervous?

My throat begins to dry, as my classmates applaud. Which means I'm next. I'm next! I murmur a silent prayer and with great effort, I stand. I go in front of everyone and look at their expectant faces. With Jessica as my prompter, maybe I could get this over with. Counting to three, I start to speak.

I am so nervous that my voice trembles badly. But, it's like I'm almost shouting to hide the fear in my voice, causing some classmates to be attentive. Jessica is still prompting me. My classmates are wide-eyed. My teacher, I do not know. But, I try to remember each word. At times, I trip over words, but it doesn't matter. As long as I give my point, then I will be forever happy. Plus, I try not to emit too much saliva, because it is embarrassing for the audiences!

I try to feel what I am babbling about. I try to put emotions into my speech. I try not to mind what's happening around me. I try to focus on only one thing. My speech. Even if, my classmates are distracting me, with their bowing-before-me act, I try not to laugh. Concentrate. Concentrate. Concentrate.

Four minutes passed, And I believe, I survived! Whew. I hope my classmates absorbed what I said. I hope they'll not forget it, and I too.

I'm just glad and I feel well. Moreover, my speech is related to our country, and today is the feast day of our first Filipino saint. Coincidence? Well, I guess not. Nothing happens by accident.

So, I learned today, that I should not worry too much, because everything has a way. Most of all, I learned to smile, no matter what. :DD

Who is this?

Black hair, brown eyes, dark blue braces. She smiles and laughs, as if there is no tomorrow. When she laughs, her whole body vibrates unceasingly. When she talks, you'll never be bored; you'll be forever interested. But, wait. Stop, right there. When did I first saw her?

Oh, it seemed to be ages ago. I was the only new student back then. Scared and nervous, I still entered our grade six classroom. I felt horrible and shy, and all of the terrible things you feel, when you want the floor to swallow you up. But, these feelings did not last long because she was there. But when I saw her, I thought she was one of the most perfect, most sophisticated girls in school, the bullies. I thought she was one of the "Cheerleaders". You know, the oh-so-mean ones. Each time I looked at her, I felt afraid and down. Scornfully, she looked at me,her eyebrows raised. In the back of my mind, I had formulated words I wanted to tell her, like, "How could you look at me like that?" and "You're so bad and everything."

But guess what? I'm glad, I have not told her those words. Oh God, I've misjudged her. How could I be so mean? She's totally not like what I expected.

She approached me that first day, inviting me to have snacks with them. Her hair was tied into a ballerina's bun and she wore a white headband. She gave me a warm smile and became my tour guide.

Well, that was a long time ago. But still, this girl is still the same. Had never change. Though, we're not classmates anymore,(what a pity!) she's one of the best-est friend I've ever have.

Well, if you're reading this, Aurora, my friend, thank you for everything! I hate and love you! :DD

Out of the Ordinary

A sunny day it is. The sky is an immaculate blue. No clouds are hiding the sun. A flock of birds flies beautifully, making their way to the trees. Except that, there are no trees. Not one scruffy plant.

Just then, a woman’s voice says, “Ladies and gentlemen, kindly go to your respective UV protection shields now. In 50 seconds, you’ll be experiencing tremendous heat of 300 degrees Fahrenheit.”

300 degrees! What?

I am expecting for some sort of reaction from the people, like scram or shout. But there is none. Not one little shriek. They just obey the voice and silently, very silently, go to their protective shields, which by the way looks like a cocoon. And I am left wondering, what the heck is happening.

“15, 14, 13, 12...”

Is this for real or is this just some kind of joke they’re playing on me?

“10, 9...”

Oh, no, this...is terrible. Where’s my protective shield? Where is it?

“7, 6, 5...”

Then I see it. Without a moment’s hesitation, I go inside my “cocoon” and BOOM! I think we are all going to die. I feel the earth shaking under my feet. I feel like I want to get out of the cocoon and run as fast as I can. But to no avail, the entrance door of my cocoon, doesn’t budge. What am I going to do?
But before I could think of a plan, the door opens, and I find myself where? Where in the world is this place? I step, barefoot, on a cold, marble floor. As I look around, I realize, I am still in the same place. Except that, I thought that the skyscrapers were burned. But now, they are in front of me, without a scratch on them.

The people are just doing what they were doing before the heat thingy. I shout at the top of my lungs, and ask them, “Are all of you robots?” Their heads turn to me all at the same time. They stare for about three seconds, without any reaction, and turned away again. Just then, we are all wearing white. Wow, we have a uniform. Great.

“C-14, you’re coming with me. Now.” A girl’s voice says, behind my back.

“Oh, thank God, someone’s talking to me. I need help. Where am I? What's this place? Oh, sorry. I haven't introduced myself yet. I’m Celine, and you are?” I put my hand forward, but she did not accept it. Instead she says, “C-14, you’re coming with me. Now.”

“C-14? You’ve got the wrong person, sorry.”

“C-14, you’re coming with me. Now.”

“As I’ve said, I’m not what you’re looking for. It’s great talking to you, but it seems, you repeat the same sentence, thrice. It bores me and it’s kind of creepy. Bye!”

Before I am able to walk away, she grabs my wrist, and says the sentence again. I am about to retort, but she runs so fast, and within a second, we are in a room, full of people I’ve known my whole life. They stand like statues; they’re eyes close.

All of them are there. My family, my relatives, my friends, our helpers, my classmates from nursery up to now, and even my teachers are there. The crazy girl leaves me with them alone. She turned off the lights a while ago. I need to turn it on. I touch for the wall and then feel the switch. I turn it on and I gasp loudly.
I look at all of them; their eyes are like that of cats, except that they are bulging from their eyelids. One by one, they move closer to me. I would not say they walk toward me, because they are floating! Slowly, they are nearing to me. I turn my back from them, trying to open the metal door. I look back, and they are horrible! Simply horrible!

“IneedtogetoutofhereIneedtogetoutofhereIneedtogetoutofhere.” Now. But how? I try to shout, but no sound came out.

Before I could think of a plan, one of them grab my neck, choking me. Tears are falling down my cheeks. I cannot breathe. I’m dying. I close my eyes, and in a second, I am back in my bedroom.

....You Lost Me....

Amazing...this is a true talent. Clearly she's one of the most beautiful and talented entertainer of all time. This is one of the best songs I've heard from her. She totally rocks it!

Don't be a Quitter!

Don’t Quit
When the tide is lowest,
For it’s just about to turn;
Don’t Quit
Over doubts and questions,
For there’s something you may learn.
Don’t Quit
When the night is darkest,
For it’s just a while ‘til dawn;
Don’t Quit
When you’ve run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don’t Quit
When the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don’t Quit
For you’re not a failure
Until you fail to try.

-Author Unknown

Never Say Never

Either tears might be falling down your cheeks, or you are staring at thin air with your mouth agape. However, whatever feelings, you’re feeling now, don’t you agree that this video is totally inspiring?

At times, I would say, “Gosh, this is hard. I can’t do this!” Then, I would just do the things that I could do. The easy things.

In addition, when it comes to solving number problems, it’s as if I want to cut my head off. No offense but Math’s torturing me! Who discovered it, anyway? Hard things like this, makes me think to give up. To quit. To do something else that’s easy. Sometimes, I would ask myself, is there something wrong with me? But I have no answer. Oh, I don’t know why. Seriously. But whatever.

Anyhow, watching the video of Derek Redmond, persevering to finish the race, (though his hamstring tore) made me change. Not completely changed. But just changed.

It’s as if a knife stabbed me, right at my heart. It woke me up from a dream that I thought would never last. Then, I remembered a girl, who looked exactly like me, who said, “I’m glad you’re awake. You never thought how lucky you are. If you’re saying, you’re tired of everything then, you’re giving up. Look around you. The world’s beautiful, you just don’t want to see it, but you can.”

Then it occurs to me. Just like what my teacher said, that Math is just another language (a hard language). I can beat it! Not only Math, but also other things that makes my life a living hell. Giving up is not the way but beating it, is the way!

This video really made me see, that when I am determined to do this or that, I can achieve it! But, I must always remember that without the people who supports me every second of my life and without God, who is my everything, I would never, ever, ever succeed.

I know now that there’s nothing wrong with me. I am just not open. I resist doing it, but I really can do it. Giving up can be good, but at times saying those two words, makes you feel weak. Life is a struggle, so fight it!

To inspire, inspire, inspire...

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”
-Anonymous

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”
-Gandhi

“We become what we dream...
We achieve in reality, in substance,
Only the pictures of the imaginations.”
-Lawrence Durrell


“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?”
-Hillel

“A journey to a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”
-Lao Tzu

“Even if the stream is shallow, wade it as if it were deep.”
-Korean Proverb

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen
Or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.”
-Helen Keller

“To the world, you may be one person, but to one person,
You may be the world.”
-Anonymous

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are,
Far more than our abilities.”
-Professor Dumbledore

Words to be Happy... :))

Happiness Is A Journey...


Happines is a journey, not a destination.

Dance as though no one is watching you.

Love as though you have never been hurt before.

Sing as though no one can hear you.

Live as though heaven is on earth.

-- Father Alfred D'Souza

The Hymn of Life

Life is an opportunity, seize it,
Life is beauty, admire it,
Life is a dream, realize it,
Life is a duty, fulfill it,
Life is a game, play it,
Life is a mystery: know it.
Life is a promise, keep it.
Life is sorrow, surmount it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, fight it.
Life is an adventure, challenge it.
Mother Teresa, has added to the list in her own hand:
Life is life, save it.


Source: The Wisdom of a Saint
Compiled by Fr. Adolf Faroni, sdb

A heavy dose of atmosphere

Powerful. Exhilarating. Riveting. Attractive. Hot. Sexy. The world just stopped with a hush. Just a day after I finished this book, I just can’t get it out of my head. Stuck is the word.

My classmate lent me this book, a week ago, and I just want to read it over and over again. At first thought, I told myself that I could not read it because of too many assignments and projects. But on second thought, I told myself that I am really good at procrastinating and I would not really do my assignments immediately. Plus, the synopsis was interesting.

The story’s heroine, Nora Grey, is very intelligent and attractive. Unfortunately, romance was never part of her plan. However, when Patch got in the picture, her mind might change. Nora is drawn to him with his handsome, easy smile and those black eyes that seem to see inside her.

But when she experienced a lot of horrifying incidents, Nora’s not sure if she can trust him. Patch seemed to be everywhere she is and know everything about her. And when she tried to seek answers, she discovered herself right in between the immortal and the fallen. Which side will she choose?

Becca Fitzpatrick made a delicious book of a fallen angel and don’t forget a forbidden love. The first time I saw this book, it made my heart do a nervous flip. I don’t know why, but, I, myself was drawn to it. Once you have read the synopsis, I am sure you will be head over heels with it.

This time, it’s neither vampires that would make your world go crazy nor faeries for that matter. It’s not even any mythical creature. Whether you consider them a mythical creature or not, I believe, they exist. They might be standing right behind you now. Protecting you.

Angels.

Delicious, scrumptous, tasty, yummy...What else?

Chicken Cordon Bleu

Ingredients:
6 skinless, boneless, chicken breast halves
6 slices Swiss cheese
6 slices ham
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon paprika
6 tablespoons butter
120 ml dry white wine
1 teaspoon chicken bouillon granules
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 cup heavy whipping cream

Directions:
1. Pound chicken breasts if they are too thick. Place a cheese and a ham slice on each breast within 1 cm of the edges. Fold the edges of the chicken over the filling, and secure with toothpicks. Mix the flour and the paprika in a small bowl, and coat the chicken pieces.

2. heat the butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat, and cook the chicken, until browned on all sides. Add the wine and the bouillon. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 30 minutes, until chicken is no longer pink and juices run clear.

3. Remove the toothpicks, and transfer the breasts to warm platter. Blend the cornstarch with the cream in a small bowl, and whisk slowly into the skillet. Cook, stirring until thickened, and pour over the chicken. Serve warm.

Paprika -bell pepper

Source: Reader's Digest, July 2010 issue p.89

Rain, you are a blessing

I woke up with the sun gazing at me. Its scorching heat filled the room, and it makes me hostile. I can't take it anymore; it's killing me. As usual, we were experiencing a brown out. It's always like this, fervent and awful. I immediately went downstairs. I had no intention of eating, because all I could think of was air. I need air. My quest for searching for a fan was not successful. I tried and tried but to no avail. So, I sat lazily on our comfortable rocking chair, and I was tired of everything. I was just wishing and hoping and praying for rain to wash away my weary self.

Months passed and I found myself on the streets looking at the dark clouds up above. I smiled and said to myself, "It's going to rain!" As I said the words, rain spatters on my collar and I found myself soaked in it. With every drop, it was wonderful and very soothing.

Oh,if you've just seen my face, it's as if it was the first time I saw rain! I jumped and jumped for joy. The most awaited rain was finally here. It was really a blessing. It took away all the antagonistic feelings that I have. It filled me with hope.

Once more, our rice fields would be lush and green and there can be sufficient supply of rice. Once more, our fellow Filipinos would stop going crazy for water. They would be really happy, I'm sure! Once more, our dying trees and plants would be healthy because of rain. Once more, prices could decrease because rain is here! Rain is water and water is one of the most important things we need. All comes from water. Without it, we would not survive this earth. We would die from thirst. Water completes us.

Rain, rain, rain. Even if it makes me gloomy at times, it still refreshes me. As our previous principal often said, "The rain is God's way of cleaning the atmosphere." It takes away the things that are bad for us. It takes away our complaints about the sun and it soothes us. It also reminds us of our unmindful ways to Mother Earth. Let's be thankful to God for giving us rain to ease our pain. Let us be thankful for everything, because He completes us.

Good ol' Champorado

Let this rich Filipino chocolate rice porridge warm you during rainy days...

Ingredients:
12 cups of water
3 cups of glutinous rice
8 pieces of unsweetened tablea (chocolate tablets)
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
fried danggit (dried rabbitfish)
fried dilis (dried long-jawed anchovies)
evaporated milk

Procedure:
1. In a saucepan, dissolve the tablea in one cup of water. Set aside.

2. In a separate casserole, on medium heat, combine the remaining cups of water and glutinous rice.

3. When it starts to boil, reduce heat to low and pour the dissolved tablea into the rice mixture.

4. Stir constantly to create a smooth consistency.

5. Add sugar according to your preference.

6. When the rice becomes translucent, the champorado is done.

7. Turn off the stove and serve the champorado in individual bowls while hot.

8. Drizzle with evaporated milk and serve with the dried fish.

*For a creamier version, you can substitute the evaporated milk with coconut milk.

Source: Mabuhay magazine, p. 54, July 2008

I hate and love you, Mr. Sun

Do you know that in the northern part of the world, some countries have no sunshine for 30 days?

Well, that is creepy.

Our country experienced drought for how many months. I have complained frequently, how hot the weather is, how itchy my skin is becoming, how I am sweating profoundly. In short, I have complained how the sun is killing me. Because of the sun, many of us got sick and eventually died.


Studies show that people living in tropical countries, or countries that has a hot climate, are happier than people living in countries that are cold. But in my own opinion, who wants the sun?

Now, as I look outside, the rain splashes to the ground. With every raindrop that fell on the ground, it was music to the ears. Meanwhile, the wind was scary. It sounded like someone was whispering to you, speaking with its soft, fading voice. The sounds of the gray morning were lifeless yet relaxing. It soothes me.

But then, I had a sudden feeling of longing for the chirping of the birds in our landlord’s garden, the longing for gazing at the immaculate, blue sky, the longing for being carefree and the longing of the scorching, shining rays of the golden sun.

Now that we are experiencing rains and all the dreariness, it would seem that I am missing the sun. As I look above, the sky is hiding behind the soft, cotton-like clouds and the sun is missing.

When I first experienced a typhoon, I thought that it would never last. I thought that the sun was forever gone. But I was wrong. It came back and behold, it made me happy and miserable.

I miss the sun. Even if, it tortures me everyday. Even if, it irritates me. Even if at times, I always complain and complain. I realized that the sun is a source of light. Without it, the world would be boring. The world would be soaked in inky blackness.

Do you believe in angels?

Because I do.

It all started when I was in Kindergarten, years and years ago. A distant memory, but as clear as if it only happened yesterday.

It was dismissal time at school, and everyone had gone home. I suddenly realized that I left my lunch box in our classroom. But I was terrified to go back alone, especially since it was very late in the afternoon. You know how every school has their own urban legends and ghost stories? Well, that was what filled my mind. I was little, and scared.

But I had no choice. I went back, shaking with fear. Praying. At last, I reached the classroom. When I opened the door, I saw them. Angels.

They were three of them in the room, tall and dazzling. Two were writing on scrolls of paper, while the other stood at the side. Their hair was a shimmering gold, their cheeks red, their wings taller than them. You know those old paintings of angels by famous painters, or those you see in churches? Well, it was as if they had stepped out of those paintings and were now standing right before me.

I stood breathless. But then I blinked, and then they were gone. Vanished.

Up until now, I am still wondering. Were they a figment of my overactive imagination, that because I was so scared my mind made it all up? Or did I really saw angels that day?

I could never know. I will never know. But all I know is that angels do exist, and I do believe in them.

Do you?

p.s. courtesy of Pauline. Thanks!

The Start of Something New

"Only those who dare to fail greatly, can ever achieve greatly."

Robert Franklin Kennedy wants us to know only one important thing in his quotation above and it is to allow ourselves to commit mistakes. Isn't it true that almost everybody feels like it's the end of the world when it comes to committing mistakes? That's what I feel too when I receive a failing mark in my report card. The world crumbles in front of me. It's hard to accept. However, we should erase this idea in our minds, because, if we did not, we'll be really sad, and that's for sure. Not only it will affect yourself, but it will also affect the people around you.

I heard and watched reports of people, who hurt themselves or killed themselves, just because of a little mistake. At times, the reason could be, "I was reprimanded by my parents. I failed them and I cannot accept it." At times, the reason could be, "I was fired." At times, the reason could be, "I thought he loved me, but now, he left me!" Or perhaps, the reason could be, "I have a failing mark in my report card." There are still many more, of course and these are only examples.

I understand the situation of these people and it is really depressing. Yet, there is no need for them to do such things that either could hurt them or kill them. What if you're the only child of your parents, then you ended your life? Is this what you'll repay them, after all that they've done? What if you are the bread winner of your family? How could they survive without you? What future is in store for them? Let us not include them, if we really care for them.

When you commit a mistake, it's okay. You'll not lose everything. Don't be ashamed to stand again. Mistakes are not the only thing that keeps you alive. There are other things worth crying for. Be sure that you will never commit it again. We're lucky that God made us like pencils. We could erase our mistakes and make it right. Only we could make it right. In our mistakes, we could learn a lot from them and eventually, we could succeed because of them. Let us not think of negative things, for it could happen in reality. As they say, "As you think, so it is."

Our life is too short. God gave life to us and we should not waste it, but be thankful for it. Let us always think that our mistakes are the start of something new.

Like a comet

Time flies fleetingly. One day, you were born and the next thing you know you are a grown-up adult with a job. Then, the next thing you know, you’re celebrating your 100th birthday with your grandchildren. I can feel all the things that happened to me and they all passed with the blink of an eye. It feels so surreal.

I can vividly remember my dad saying, “I got promoted and we are all moving to Iloilo! Aren’t you happy, girls?” Oh, if you just saw my jaw dropped, at least touching my toes. My eyes were not even blinking, to see if what was happening at that time was real or not. Eventually, I found out that it was real and it was final.

As the days passed, I cannot sleep, think, or even eat. My usual energy was not within me. My dad’s words were stuck in my head and I can’t get them off. It was killing me. Of course, I was happy for my dad, for getting promoted, but I can’t stand the idea of moving somewhere else. I just can’t leave all my friends here. It would be really sad, if I cannot see them for years. Plus, my school is my alma matter. Why won’t they let us stay here?

When summer time came, my family and I fixed everything in order to move to Iloilo. Saying goodbye was hard, but, yes, I need to accept it. I need to understand it. My dad says that being away from our ‘comfort zone’ would be a big help to us. Nevertheless, at that moment, I would not believe him. Every day and every night was a torture for me. This is really the first time that I will experience moving to a different zone.

As I stepped on Iloilo soil, a big knot was forming inside me. My mind was inhaling all the negative things around me. I was so paranoid. As the first day of school came, it was like dreaming a nightmare. I want to wake up and promise myself never to dream this again. As I entered our classroom, the noisy 'buzzing' of my classmates turned off and every head turned to look at me. Every step I took, they looked intently at me. I wondered, “What could they be thinking of me?” In addition, I was the only new student there in our sixth year of elementary. It was like entering a world of aliens. I could feel myself go red in the face. Oh, this was hard. They speak a different language. Perhaps, the thing I could only do is to complain and complain. Time passed, days vanished and slowly I was adjusting and adjusting.

Now, as I reflect on that first day, I was surprised that two years has already gone by. Eventually, I became open to the changes that I encountered, and they help me to grow. My dad was right. It is not that bad to make a change or to feel a change. However, it was hard to be away from the people or the things that I have cared and loved most. At this time, I am glad to be experiencing such changes and I have to cherish these. Time is really fast, and I have to make the best of it, because maybe, tomorrow is my 100th birthday.

Wickedly Delicious

In our world today, vampire books are so in. Especially, the Twilight Saga, by Stephenie Meyer. Each time I enter a bookstore, they would welcome me in. They’re exotic, interesting, mysterious, and glamorous. On the contrary, why not try something different?
No need to worry because this book is quite the same with the vampire books, except for the fact that we’re talking about faeries.

The first time, I saw this book, was in a bookstore. At first, I kind of like the story, but then, there was another book that I was supposed to buy. But, my eldest sister kept bugging me. So, I bought it and I read it. And you know what, I was in love. Truly, madly, deeply. It was different from any books I’ve read.

It’s about Aislinn, a girl who sees faeries. In faery tales, they are lovely, delightful and good. But, here, you see their darkness. They are powerful and dangerous. Wicked. They hide in the mortal world. Aislinn is taught all her life to pretend not to see them. But, a faery king changes her life forever, asking her to defeat his mother, the ruthless, unsympathetic Winter Queen. Not only her life is at stake, but also her freedom, her best friend, Seth and everything. Whatever she chooses, it’s up to her. Faery intrigue, and mortal love, Melissa Marr’s Wicked Lovely is a brilliant twenty-first century faery tale.

So, come on, give it a chance, for I’m sure, you’ll never regret it. Try something different and maybe you’ll love it. Remember, there’s no harm in trying.

To my heart's content

All day, I was just pretending to be at school. Of course, I was there, physically. But, not mentally. Through the motions of classes, my mind was somewhere else. A place I haven’t been to before. Places where peculiar things happen, places unvisited by many, and places with magic. They are places unimaginable.

At school, my friends would sometimes nudge me from daydreaming. Then, I would be surprise that a lot of time has passed. At times, I would be staring at anything that is interesting, and would be curious about it. In that case, I always wonder if it is astounding as the dreams I’ve been dreaming. The dreams are the places that I’ve been mentioning awhile ago. And they are inside a book. It would seem awkward, if it really wasn’t a place you’ve been expecting me to say. It would seem uncoordinated that it’s not quite real. Of course, books are real, but what I am saying, are the contents of a book.

Since the day that I knew how to read, I didn’t care about books. I do not care to read a book. All I think about, is to eat, play, watch the television, and sleep. I think that’s my routine everyday. Talk about being idle. Even so, my mom bought me this book with forty-nine chapters in it. It is entitled as Magyk, by Angie Sage. At first, I was bored, but I gave it a chance and I found it to be really far-fetching. When I was bored, I would curl on the sofa and read. It all started with that book. Days, months and even years had passed by and I still love books. Fiction, non-fiction, encyclopedias or any kind of reading material were the love of my life. Even though, the Internet is there for my assignments, sometimes I prefer to search facts inside the encyclopedia. It’s long, detailed, and has correct grammar. Which is what I really liked about it. Though, it’s not updated.

Anywhere I go, I do not leave the house with a book. The reason? I can’t live without it. The stories are unforgettable. It makes my imagination spread farther and farther. At times, I imagined myself as the protagonist of the story. I could feel it. Sometimes, I thought it was real. I thought it exists. But I will never say it’s wrong. It is the one that makes me believe in my dreams. It is the one that makes me see the possibilities of things I’ve never imagined. It makes me jump off my bed in the wee hours of the morning. It makes my heart beat slow and fast at the same time. Books are never boring. It makes my heart and mind contented.

Each time, I open any book, it invites me to enhance my vocabulary words, my grammar and pronunciation. It invites me to learn more of the world through reading. So, now, I do not hesitate to read a book. For as Gertrude Stein quoted, "Writing and reading is to me synonymous with existing."